HR’s grubby little secret; bullying

I recently conducted a poll on my LinkedIn asking whether HR professionals had ever been bullied in their place of work. The results were shocking to say the least, but sadly not massively surprising to me. 

Here’s what we found…

A staggering 64% of those who work in HR* said that they had been bullied in their place of work. I too have witnessed countless times a HR professional has been bullied, by their leadership team and indeed employees too. 

In my opinion, working in HR is tough enough without having to worry about being bullied too. But what can be done?

Well in order to understand this situation in more detail I actually canvassed a few key HR professionals for their expert insights. I asked them whether they think that HR is at greater risk of being bullied, whether they have had to deal with this in their role, and what their advice is to fellow HRs suffering from bullying. Here’s what they said…

Jane Ferré, Executive Coach at Jane Ferré Coaching believes that those who work in HR have a greater probability of experiencing bullying, mainly because they meet a wider cross section of people from around the business. 

She explained, “as an HR Business Partner working in a variety of client areas, I certainly experienced my fair share. This ranged from TU reps telling me HR was only in the room to write the minutes, to gaslighting from my line manager.”

Jane went on to say that she was not familiar with the term gaslighting at that time, but that she just knew that something was not right. “My line manager was new to the company and there were things she was doing that did not feel right to me. I spoke with her line manager about her behaviour and my concerns for the reputation of the HR team. That year, I received my lowest ever performance rating and when I challenged her about it (accompanied by my new line manager) I was told it was because of non-delivery of a particular project. This was the first I had heard of that project,” she said. 

Jane admitted that whilst she had the courage to speak up, she felt that she was punished for doing so, and resolved that, “as HR, where else can we turn when we feel as though our own superiors are not paying attention?”

Gary Cookson, Director at EPIC HR Ltd, also had to deal with multiple instances of bulling in his career. One such instance, he noted, was from a particularly nasty trade union official who would send long, angry emails quite late at night, cc’ing the CEO and Chair of the Board and knowing that the timing and distribution of their emails would wreak maximum havoc on his mental health.

Another instance, and on social media, he was made to feel distinctly uncomfortable with the amount of bashing against a certain protected characteristic of his by the majority of the group members. He admitted, “I felt unable to contribute or share any views because of the characteristic I had in case they were dismissed because of my characteristic.”

That being said, Gary doesn’t think HR is necessarily at greater risk than other departments of bullying. He said, “no more or less than any job role,” but he did go on to explain that the context is different. “HR often have to balance multiple stakeholders who can have differing priorities and can be vocal about pushing them. It is perhaps easier for HR professionals to feel caught in the middle and, if handled wrong, this could be deemed bullying.”

When I asked Gary what his advice was to HRs suffering from bullying, he urged them not to bottle it up. He suggested, “find someone to talk to who you can share your feelings with. Find a way of dealing with your feelings and making yourself feel better – whatever works for you. And do not hesitate to raise concerns if you are worried about the impact on your health or the culture of the organisation.”

Mary Mallavarapu, Senior Program Manager at RGP, has been in the IT space for over 20 years and does indeed think that HR gets bullied – and on a daily basis too. She said this is mainly because HR professionals are a seen as a service provider to, and there for, the business. 

She explained, “I think the shift has to happen where we can protect HR folks so that they are empowered to be the whistle blowers as they can see and know the reality in most cases.”

And it’s not just HR who are getting bullied either. In fact, my research revealed that some HR professionals are actually doing the bullying too, which is of course sincerely worrying. 

Sandy Wilkie, Freelance OD Consultant, specialising in values & culture, explained that “it’s almost counterintuitive that HR as a people function should indulge in behaviours that are proscribed in one of its own organisational policies. Yet sadly it does happen.”

She said that in her experience, quite a number of HRDs have tended to be overly ambitious to prove themselves in the eyes of senior team colleagues. “This can lead them to trample others within HR, undermine direct reports and begin to display narcissistic traits. They lose sight of softer values such as empathy and compassion, preferring instead to drive hard around performance, KPIs and other measures of success.”

Sandy believes that this behaviour is what HR professionals think is needed in order to achieve and be taken seriously by the CEO. And after a while it can tip over into bullying, as the HRDs start to enjoy the power they hold over their own staff.

Sandy provided further clarity in stating, “I have witnessed two examples in my career. The first within Higher Education where the ruthlessness of the newly promoted HRD was well known within the institution. She thought nothing of bringing a senior HR colleague, who didn’t fit her clique, in from sick leave to ensue he was dismissed during the final stages of probation. The second example from the NHS, was where the Depute HRD was driven by the need to be liked and valued by the Exec team. She would bend with the wind, doing the bidding of very senior managers, even if this meant undermining her own professional staff. Which she did frequently, although seemed to lack the self-awareness to see it as so. Both examples illustrate how values such as Respect & Integrity can easily get lost.”

Sandy contended that there is no-one to judge HR and call out such behaviours. “In the eyes of the CEO, HR is seen from the outside as ‘delivering’ - and any temporary internal turmoil within the HR team can get easily explained away by the errant HRD. Thus, HR not only ends up role modelling a poor organisational culture, but actively begins to spread these behaviours to other parts of the business. At its most extreme, HR becomes both the initiator and the upholder of toxic behaviours right across whole organisation. This cannot be good for anyone.”

In my personal opinion, HR bullying is the worst thing about working in HR. I mean HR tend to look after everyone else, but who actually looks after HR? 

And I have direct experience of this too unfortunately. I myself was bullied. As a senior HR professional, I was screamed at and isolated when I raised a grievance in a place of work. The HR director at the time, didn’t even investigate the matter. He just said that the individual was known to be a very difficult person and I should pander to her needs. He said she was more established than him and he wasn’t prepared to take her on. It took his replacement, who was a lawyer rather than an HR professional, to face up to her and finally remove her. 

In my years of working in human resources, I have found that HR professionals do not often raise grievances about their own situations. This is rather saved for everyone else that they represent. Instead, we as HR tend to put up and shut up or else risk a career limiting manoeuvre. 

But this is so wrong, and it’s time for HR to take HR bullies to task. Because no one deserves to be treated badly in their place of work. Full stop. 

*299 people completed this LinkedIn poll.